A Note from LaTonya

Welcome to the new Leading Below the Surface with LaTonya, reimagined as a practice.

I got tired of newsletters that only exist to sell something. When I looked at my own, I had to be real with myself. It felt surface. So I shifted it.

This is something different. A couple of times a month, you'll find a reflection, journal prompts, and book insights. This will comprise something to actually sit with, not just read and move on from. AI is overwhelming us with information. What's missing isn't more content. It's space to reflect and just be.

We are living in a heavy moment. And I've been sitting with something that I think a lot of us are navigating quietly: the difference between making a change and actually transforming. I wrote about it this week.

I'm glad you're here.

To meaningful work and real connection,
LaTonya

This Issue's Reflection

Signs You Need a Transformation — and Why Most People Abandon It Too Soon

Most people think they need a change. What they actually need is a transformation. And there's a significant difference.

A change is a tweak. A transformation is a questioning of everything: your beliefs, your assumptions, the stories we tell ourselves, until something truer takes its place and you arrive somewhere more expansive than where you started.

Here's the problem. Most of us reach for the tweak when we need the transformation. And a few years later we're in the same place, frustrated and feeling like we are in a hamster wheel. Different season. Same problems. It's like reading a book when you need to rebuild the entire library.

Signs you might need a transformation

How do you know a few tweaks won't be enough? Here are the signals:

• Deep down, things have not been working for years

• Something is off, has been off for a long time, but you can't put your finger on it

• Something big has shifted: how you see things, your external environment, your home life, your work life

• Fear over possibilities is drowning out excitement

• You keep making changes, but end up back in the same place

For some of us, transformation is forced. A career shift. An organizational crisis. Something in our personal or family life that suddenly changes everything. That shift might be the thing that finally shifts the trajectory.

What transformation actually looks like

As I often do in my work and in Leading Below the Surface, I'm going to use a personal example to illustrate this. Bear with me: it's not the context you might expect, but it's one that's fresh in my mind.

I was raised very religious.

The places of worship during my childhood wouldn't let women or girls enter the church unless we were in a dress. Girls weren't allowed to play outside during service like boys were. We didn't have those privileges. Being expelled from the church is one of the most defining moments of my life. And my experience isn't unique.

Fast forward a few decades. I've stumbled upon multiple examples of these same communities shifting toward inclusion, love, and relevance.

From the outside looking in, the culture of the churches I grew up in was evolving. People were being welcomed in for the first time. Attendance had been lower. Services felt flat. So the church not only opened its doors, it expanded who belonged. That's transformation. Not a rebrand. Not a tweak. A full questioning of everything, including who belongs, why they belong, and what the organization exists to do.

I see similar examples in team and departmental coaching. Tweaks won't work. Leaders need a full transformation that includes a realignment to values and where the organization is today.

Why most people abandon transformations too soon

Real transformation doesn't feel like progress at first. It feels like a loss. You're questioning things you'd rather leave alone. Beliefs you've built your identity around. Ways of operating that got you here, even if they're no longer serving you.

That's exactly when most people stop.

Here's what gets in the way:

Fear. There are four fears that tend to show up most:

• Fear of failure

• Fear of what you might find when you start questioning everything

• Fear that the people around you won't come with you

• Fear that you've waited too long

Any of these sound familiar?

False signs it's not working.

Transformation is slow and nonlinear. There will be moments where things feel worse before they feel better. You might spend more time in the pit than you expected, but you have to go there to get through it.

Comfort in the tweak.

Making a small change feels like progress. It quiets the discomfort just enough to keep going without really changing anything. Until a year later, when you're back in the same place, wondering why nothing has shifted.

The cost of questioning deeply held beliefs.

This is the hardest one. Real transformation asks you to examine things you've never examined: assumptions about who you are, what you deserve, how leadership works, what your organization is for. That's uncomfortable. And the discomfort around this questioning doesn't stay contained with just the problem at hand. It often seeps into other areas of your life.

The discomfort is not a sign that it's not working. It's a sign it is.

The cost of not transforming

There are risks to transformation. It takes time. It requires courage. It asks you to sit in uncertainty longer than feels comfortable.

But those risks don't outweigh the cost of staying stuck.

When individuals avoid transformation, they keep repeating the same patterns: different jobs, same frustrations. Different relationships, same dynamics. Different strategies, same results.

When organizations avoid transformation, the cost is even higher. The external environment moves faster than the internal one. And by the time leadership is ready to act, the gap is much harder to close.

The church in my story didn't transform because it was ready. It transformed because the cost of not transforming became impossible to ignore.

That's usually how it works.

Working with leaders and organizations in transformation

If you're recognizing yourself or your organization in any of this, that's not a coincidence. The signs are usually there long before we're ready to name them.

This is the work I do with leaders and organizations at Change Coaches. If you're ready to have that conversation, let's connect. You can reach me directly at latonya@changecoaches.io.
​

Also published in the Leading Below the Surface LinkedIn newsletter.
​
​
​

Let’s Reflect

I want to be honest with you about something.

I've been in my own transformation. Change Coaches has been going through one too. And there have been moments this year where I reached for the tweak: a new offer, a different marketing approach, a different team structure, when what I actually needed was to question something deeper. I needed to just be.

The question I kept avoiding wasn't strategic. It was personal.​
​

Not what makes sense on paper. Not what seems achievable or safe. Not how do I get the next client. The bigger question underneath all of that: what does the life I'm building actually look like when it's fully realized?

That's the below the surface question. And transformation can't really begin until you're willing to sit with it.

Journal Prompts

Take 10 minutes with one or all of these in your journal, notes app, or even voice recorder.

• What area of your life or leadership has felt 'off' for longer than you'd like to admit?

• Which of the four fears is most present for you right now, and what is it protecting?

• Where have you been reaching for a tweak when you know you need something deeper?

• What do you really want your life to look like, but are afraid to claim because it doesn't feel achievable right now?

(It may not be. Not yet. But transformation starts with naming it anyway)

Book Insight

In Chapter 5 of Leading Below the Surface, I write about Navigating a Surface World. On page 73, I discuss the signs that you are trapped in a surface environment. Sometimes we get so trapped that we are operating on fumes, and don't have space for anything else. We just accept what's right in front of us. We can't see beyond that.
​
Take a look at the signs. If you are trapped on the surface, first acknowledge it. Then, try to get deeper within yourself. Observe. Reflect. Allow. Without these steps, you will struggle with the last journal prompt.

Upcoming Events

A few places to be in conversation and practice this in real time.

​
​

​Learning Series Session with LaTonya Wilkins​

We’ll slow down and explore what’s happening below the surface—the pauses, the energy, the unsaid. This is a facilitated space to practice presence and relational awareness.

📅 May 6 at 12 PM ET | Free | Hosted by Change Coaches in Partnership with ICF Georgia

​
​

​Voices of Belonging Roundtable Series​

A global conversation on what it really takes to build connection across cultures, identities, and lived experiences. I’ll be joining as a panelist.

📅 May 12 at 10 AM CT | 1.0 CCE | Hosted by the ICF DEIB Team

​
​

​REAL Leadership: How to Show Up When It's Hard to Lead, and Coach Below the Surface​

For when leadership feels uncertain or under pressure. We’ll focus on trust, mutual psychological safety, and coaching below the surface.

📅 May 13 at 6 PM CT | 1.5 CCEUs | Hosted by ICF Chicago

​
​

​Era Shift: An Invitation to Rethink, Reconnect, and Imagine What's Next​

A virtual unconference designed for reflection and honest conversation about leadership below the surface—not a webinar or panel, but a participatory experience.

📅 June 5 at 11 AM ET | Co-hosted by Change Coaches

​
​

Before You Go

I'd love to know: where are you in your own transformation right now? Are you in the pit, in the tweak, or just beginning to name it? Hit reply and tell me. I read every response.

If this practice resonated with you, pass it on to someone who needs more space and structure to reflect. So many of us are craving exactly that right now.

To meaningful work and real connection,

LaTonya
​

Find me on the Leading Below the Surface Podcast and YouTube for more below the surface conversations. ​
​