A Note from LaTonya

This issue is about a question I keep coming back to: what happens when your head and your body disagree about a decision? I share how I made a few of my biggest decisions, what the research says about the body’s role, and a simple three-step practice you can try this week.

It’s also the idea behind the two groups I’m running in November. Both are places to practice leading, connecting, and deciding, below the surface, alongside a small group of peers.

Applied Leadership: Below the Surface is a five-session experience for leaders working under pressure. It’s capped at 10 and runs November 12 to December 17.

Leading Below the Surface: Relational Leadership and Coach Training (LBTS), is a ten-module training for leaders and coaches who want to connect better with themselves, their teams, and their clients. It’s built on my book Leading Below the Surface, which is taught in higher ed classrooms.

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It starts November 10.
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Registration is open for both groups. You’ll find details toward the end of this week's reflection.
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LaTonya

And, P.S. I'd love to see you at one of the events next week. You will find those at the bottom of this issue.

This Issue's Reflection

The Year I Stopped Deciding with Just My Head

In 2021, I faced a really tough decision. I had recently released the first edition of my book. I had a part-time job, several clients, and was getting booked to speak all over the place. While things were going well overall, I felt stretched thin. I loved everything I was doing, but I knew I'd have to let go of something.

So in January of 2022, I made the decision to go all in on Change Coaches. I went from two W-2s to one.

I get asked about this decision often. What's interesting is that people always focus on the money. And yes, part of my decision was based on finances. But I'd say more of it was based on…

My intuition.

I didn't have a long spreadsheet. What I did have was a very strong belief, close to a sure thing, that I could do this. I could see myself with clients. It felt like a natural move. There was little stress in my body when I imagined it.

On that note, in late 2024, I made two decisions that felt out of character for me: a joy retreat facilitated by Pamela Larde, Ph.D. , and a yoga retreat I found through Google. Yes, Google! There were no spreadsheets involved in either one, and I decided quickly after finding myself at the precipice of a big life change. I knew I needed something different, and when I did my research, I felt no stress, just anticipation. My body felt similar to when I went all in on Change Coaches. I imagined myself already there, visualizing what I would gain from each, and I could feel what I would feel like afterward. Both turned out to be life changers.

Since then, I'll admit that following my intuition has not been perfect. Almost five years in, I still slip entirely into data-based decisions from time to time, usually out of fear. Launching my first group program, Leading Below the Surface, in 2025 was one of those. I had never launched a group before, and a group needs a certain number of people to become the experience it's meant to be. I was in analysis paralysis, and that's why it took me so long to launch. I had an idea then I made a plan, then another plan, then would start a big project, excuses. Rinse. Repeat.

How about you: do you have a hard time trusting what you feel when it's time to decide? Do you struggle with deciding when you should listen to your head, body, or both? You are not alone. In this article, we'll look at why it's so hard, what your body may already be telling you, when to lean on your head and when on your body, and how to practice bringing them together.

Why this is so hard

Most of us were trained to make decisions we can defend. We learn to build the case, line up the data, and be ready to explain ourselves. This approach works well for many of us. But what happens when all the data lines up but the decision doesn't feel right?

It's an interesting question. All throughout my life, I mastered how to make data-based decisions. Much of this I got from business school. So, when I came up against one of my first hard decisions after business school, whether to stay, or leave a company, I was stuck because the data said I should stay but my body said something else. The company had been going through multiple rounds of downsizing and was approaching bankruptcy. They kept insisting they would "take care of me" but my body had a different story. When I imagined being on the other side, I saw many possibilities. I had a sense of ease. So, I left and I never regretted my decision. Why was this so hard in the first place?

Looking back, it was hard because I had been trained to make decisions I could defend. The data gave me something to point to. But this time, my body gave me a feeling I couldn’t quite name yet. Following it was a decision I’ve never regretted.

What your body is already telling you

There's a word for this: interoception. It's the sense of what's happening inside your body, like your heartbeat, your breath, the tightness in your chest, or the knot in your stomach. Most of us barely notice it until something gets our attention.

You may be thinking, but what about somatics?

I had the same question. The two are related, but they're not the same. Interoception is the sense itself, the signal your body sends and your brain receives. Somatics is the practice of paying attention to that signal: noticing what you feel, staying with it, and getting curious about what it might mean.

Two studies help explain what happens when people can read these signals, and when they can't. These aren't perfect studies, but they do provide us with an idea of the impact of interoception on decisions.

The first was a well-known card game study. You may have heard of it. It's often referred to as the Iowa Gambling Task. People drew from four decks, some riskier than others. Participants' bodies showed a small stress response, the kind that makes palms sweat, before they reached for the risky decks, and they began favoring safer ones before they could say why.

The second study, in 2016, tested 18 traders at a London hedge fund on how well they could sense their own heartbeat. It was a small group, but the traders who were better at it made more money than their peers, and they had been trading longer.

Sources: Iowa Gambling Task study, Science, 1997 · London traders study, Scientific Reports, 2016​

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When to trust which

So which is better, the head or the body? I don't think that's quite the right question.

A later card-game study found that body awareness could help or hurt, depending on whether a person's body signals pointed toward good choices or bad ones. In that study, a notable number of people got a false warning: their bodies sounded the alarm before the good decks instead of the bad ones, and the better they could sense their own heartbeat, the more it hurt them. Research on leaders points the same direction. In a study of 222 multi-team operations led by Air Force Captains, leaders who tend to rely on intuition improved team performance when their role carried a heavy load of information, and hurt it when it didn't. In other words, intuition seemed to help most when there was a lot to make sense of, and to get in the way when there wasn't. That study measured a general intuitive thinking style, not body sensing specifically, so I hold it loosely for the purposes of this article.

So the science doesn't point to one being "better" than the other. I look at them as complementary. Our heads can catch what our bodies can't, like the numbers, the risks, and the history. Our bodies may notice what our head hasn't named yet.

Sources: Interoception and intuitive decision making, Psychological Science, 2010 · Leader intuition and information load, Group & Organization Management​

How to practice

To demonstrate how to practice bringing your head and body together, I’m going to use my decision to launch Leading Below the Surface, a coach and leadership training, in 2025. I'll go through this while applying the science.

Check the information. How much information is involved, and how complex is the decision? Is it more emotional, more concrete, or both? When there's a lot to make sense of, intuition tends to help. With my decision to launch, the amount of information was crippling, unnecessarily so. So based on that, an intuitive decision is the best fit.

Check your body. Think about the decision and notice how you feel. Where do you feel it in your body? Maybe it's a tightness in the chest, a settling in the stomach, or a sudden urge to stall. Or maybe it's a sense of openness. Another way in is to picture yourself already on the other side of the choice. What do you feel in your body when you imagine it? When I thought about my launch, my chest felt open but my brain hadn't named that yet. My body was ahead of my mind.

Check the conflict. Where does your head disagree with your body? What might your body be telling you that your head hasn't named, and what does your head know that your body can't know? You don't have to concede to either one. You're simply adding both to the picture you already have. As mentioned, for my launch, there appeared to be a conflict. My head was saying data, data, data, and my body was like let's go!

Try it on something small this week. Small decisions are where the practice builds.

An invitation

Think back to the decisions I opened with. When I let myself picture the outcome and notice how I felt, I moved quickly. When I leaned only on analysis, I stalled. The hard part was never knowing the signal existed. It was having a place to listen to it without having to defend it.

That thread runs through everything above. We're trained to trust what we can justify. But, in the card game, the body spoke first. The practice of checking the information, your body, and the conflict is simple, but simple isn't the same as easy, especially in a room full of people waiting for your answer. And because the body's signal isn't always right, it helps to have other people who can ask you good questions about it.

That's why I don't think this is something you learn by reading about it. It's something you practice, with other people, over time. Most of us never had a space to practice leading this way. That's why I built one.

I have two groups starting in November, and they meet you in different places.
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Applied Leadership: Below the Surface is a five-session leadership experience for people leading themselves and others under pressure: difficult environments, shifting priorities, and leading without always having the authority, budget, or control of your schedule. It's practical, with tools you can use right away and a group to process with. It moves from self to others to integration, so you build the presence to lead under pressure, strengthen how you build trust, alignment, and influence, and leave with a plan you can act on.

The group is capped at 10, so there's room for community and individualized learning. It's five live sessions with pre- and post-work, November 12 to December 17, 11 AM to 12:15 PM CT. Afterward, you're welcome to keep growing in the Below the Surface Leadership Practice, a semi-monthly live gathering where leaders keep learning. Your first month is included.

Leading Below the Surface: Relational Leadership and Coach Training (LBTS) is built on my book Leading Below the Surface, which is taught in higher ed classrooms. It’s a live, small-cohort training for people who want to connect better with themselves, their teams, and their clients, especially across differences. You'll get below the surface to have deeper, more trusting conversations, explore your identity and lead in the way that is most aligned with you, and use somatics to guide you through difficult conversations and decisions. It's ten live modules starting November 10. And if you are a coach interested in CCEUs, this one offers 38 ICF-approved hours and 30 BCC hours, and a copy of the book is included.
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What would it be like to practice this alongside a group of peers? If you're curious, reply to this email with "Applied Leadership" or "LBTS" in the body of the message. You can also submit an interest form here. I'm looking forward to learning more about you and the decisions you are grappling with.
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Let’s Reflect

Fear is usually what sends me back to the spreadsheet. When I look at the times I stalled, including the long wait before launching my first group program, the extra analysis rarely made the decision clearer. It falsely protected me from taking a risk.

So here’s what I’m curious about: how is false protection showing up in your life? And what might your body already know that your head hasn't picked up yet?

Journal Prompts

Take 10 minutes with one or all of these in your journal, notes app, or even voice recorder.

1. Reflect on recent good or bad decision. Where did you feel it in your body before you could explain it?
2. When the data and your body disagree, which one do you usually follow? What does that choice protect?
3. What does false protection look like for you? How can you recognize it going forward.

Upcoming Events

​Change Coaches Community Gathering: Supporting People Through Grief, Loss, and Change ​
An optional community gathering led by Dr. Sherri Taylor.
📅 Tuesday, October 20 at 6pm CT | Free | Hosted by Change Coaches
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​The REAL Year-End Reset: Looking Back While Stepping Forward​
Using REAL Leadership (Relatable, Equitable, Aware, Loyal), a framework from my book Leading Below the Surface, we’ll look honestly at the year you led through and what it took from you. Then you’ll choose one practice to start right away. For leaders and those who coach them.
📅 Wednesday, October 21 at 12 PM CT | Free | Hosted by Change Coaches
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Before You Go

If this was useful, please pass it on to someone who is sitting on a decision right now. They will appreciate it.

And I’d love to hear from you. What decision are you spreadsheeting right now? 😊

To meaningful work and real connection,

LaTonya
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Find me on the Leading Below the Surface Podcast and YouTube for more below the surface conversations. ​
​P.S. If this practice resonated with you, pass it on to someone who needs more space and structure to reflect. So many of us are craving exactly that right now — and finding fewer places that offer it. Let this become yours. And share it with someone who needs it too.